There's No Point in Breaking the Habit Now
by sugarbucket
Summary: Rosalie and Edward are taking part in a family celebration on Isle Esme and it's about as awkward and painful as you'd expect. Amidst the attempts at healing old wounds, there's a discovery which could change everything. Rosalie and Edward have to decide if they'll tell everyone about it, and also decide the extent to which it changes their own lives. Two part follow up.


**-There's No Point in Breaking the Habit Now-**

 **Part One**

 _ **By sugarbucket**_

' _How the faces of love have changed turning the pages,  
And I have changed oh, but you...you remain ageless.  
I turned around and the water was closing all around,  
Like a glove, like the love that had finally, finally found me.  
Then I knew in the crystalline knowledge of you.  
Drove me through the mountains,  
Through the crystal like clear water fountain.  
Drove me like a magnet,  
To the sea, to the sea  
To the sea.'_  
 _  
-Stevie Nicks_

 _ **2053**_

 _ **Sunderland, UK.**_

 _ **-**_ **Rosalie-**

 _A year almost to the day since I had taken a crazed, mute vampire from Slovenia under my wing was the day he looked at me, quietly contemplative and asked me to choose a name for him._

 _I'd observed with irrational happiness and excitement over the last year as he became more human with each passing day. As he became my friend; something that, with the exception of Jasper, was in short supply. It made me realise how lonely I'd been until then. My self-imposed exile was usually quite tolerable, given that I was constantly moving around and keeping myself busy. This was the first time I'd really slowed down enough to look around at my own life and see how cut off I was, how truly alone. To acknowledge that I had traded passion, of any kind, for stability and some measure of undeserved peace._

 _The life I'd carved out now would have been inconceivable to my younger self. Occasionally, that wilder Rosalie would sigh and shake her head, unable to demand or even complain, but I felt her still; disillusioned and lost without our long time counter-part. My new companion both dulled the ache while making me aware of its existence in the first place._

" _Are you sure?" I asked him, pausing in the middle of the letter I'd been writing to Jasper. "Maybe you should choose your own name."_

 _He looked up; that blonde young man who had probably seen more years than most vampires I'd encountered. His eyes were clear, so unlike when I'd found him, and his smile was patient. He was patient with everyone and everything, except himself._

" _No-one chooses their own name," he pointed out. "I would like for you to choose mine."_

 _He was in the middle of writing something too, something complicated and revolutionary I suspected. Not a letter, but a theory or a thesis of some sort. He wrote a lot lately; a new evolutionary step from his insatiable reading._

 _I paused, giving it a small amount of consideration. There was a name I'd taken to calling him in my head. "How about…Roman?"_

" _Ah," he said brightly. "That's it. Perfect."_

 _We shared a brief smile before resuming our separate activities as we so often did. A quiet, loving sense of companionship hung in the air, diluting the silence and the isolation that came part and parcel with my life. I would miss it terribly when he inevitably left me to seek his own path. I dreaded that day really, knowing it would come and that I would be alone once more._

 _I got a little lost in my letter, explaining in great detail about Roman, his progress, my very recent selection of his name. It was so easy to talk about him, filling page upon page of inky praise and fascination which I knew Jasper would read with a wry smile, silently chastising me for avoiding talking about my own so called life._

" _Rose," Roman said quietly. I looked up and saw he was frowning at something he'd written, like he wasn't sure what it was._

" _What is it?" I asked, suddenly concerned._

" _I think…maybe I've found something."_

" _Oh?"_

" _I was letting my mind run away with me, just doodling really," he said and I glanced down at the dozens of pages worth of incredibly neat, meticulous handwriting which to me, did not look like doodling. "And something occurred to me."_

 _I moved over to where he sat on the floor and dropped down beside him. "Show me."_

 _He indicated vaguely to the last three pages; I scanned them and saw little that gave any hint of his discovery. "It's…reversible. It should be reversible."_

" _What is?"_

" _The whole thing, this entire state isn't natural – it's unnatural at its foundation, unstable even. Whatever formula there is at its source, it could be reversed."_

" _Roman," I said, using his new name for the first time. "You lost me way back there."_

 _But he didn't seem to hear me, instead staring unblinkingly at his writing. "I would need to do research, for years – decades really, but I'm certain that I'm correct…I feel it. I can remove it, undo it."_

" _Undo_ what _?"_

 _He looked at me, residual shock of his unexpected discovery present in all his lovely features and a thrill of understanding went through me._

* * *

 **2088**

 _Rio de Janeiro, Isle Esme_

 _ **-**_ **Emmett-**

"You tore out my heart. I know you know that already, but there's no way to begin with anything less than that. You asked for this and I'm trying to do it so…yeah, you ruined my life."

Edward had been expecting that much from me, but I could see it still hurt to hear it. He nodded, encouraging me with a small, tight smile. It was just the two of us, outside on the balcony of the three storey house. He leant against the railing, staring out at the ocean. It was always beautiful there, particularly without having humans around. It provided us all with a sense of innate freedom and peace that was absent in populated areas. The balcony was large and it gave a spectacular view. I focused on it determinedly.

He took a breath and said, "Say whatever you want, whatever you need to."

This had been a bad idea, perhaps. It was the first time we had been properly alone without anyone else in earshot for years. In fact, we hadn't been alone like this since before I'd discovered him with my ex-wife. Even during the time he'd stayed with Bella in his attempt to repair their marriage, I had never spoken to him properly…except for that one terrible time. In the years that followed when he lived nearby, we began to exchange brief and awkward one word greetings, always without looking at one another, always for the sakes of others. It had been too painful to see him, let alone be in his presence without others to detract from it. Yet here we were, so many years later. "It's been a long time now and I consider you a…friend, but this feels like it's only going to cause trouble. Undo what we've accomplished so far."

Edward sighed and nodded, biting his bottom lip the way he did when he was nervous. "We've never talked about it. Not really and I…I want. I don't know, I want us to be closer. Maybe in talking it through, we could have something like what we used to have."

I frowned a little, shocked at his naïve ambitions for our tentative relationship. "That can't happen, Edward. I'm not saying it to be cruel, I'm really not. It's mainly due to the fact that we were _so close_. We weren't just friends or even family. We were more than that. I considered you…you were such a huge part of my life." I paused, trying to get my voice under control because it was in danger of trembling. No matter how much time passed, discussing this never really got easier.

"You were too, Emmett," he said softly. "You were my best friend, my brother."

"Then all of that was destroyed," I said bluntly. "All we can have now is something built on the years since then. Something new, maybe. But nothing like what we had. I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear."

I could see how much that hurt him. It gave me no pleasure, no sense of justice. It never had, but that wasn't why I did it. Part of me railed against my coldness towards him, desperate to make a joke and reassure him that maybe one day we _could_ be brothers again. Part of me even believed it.

"No, I know that, Em. I do." He smiled again, but it was tainted with defeat now.

God _damn it._

"Maybe we could talk about it," I offered. "Y'know. Just, see where it goes."

This whole weekend was such a big ball of awkwardness. Granted it had been a long time coming, seven long years of The Trio insisting that, _"we all go away together!"_ before it had actually materialised. Now we were all together on Isle Esme, celebrating…well actually it was a little debatable what we were celebrating. Personally, I thought it was all a scam to get us together and trap us so we'd have some _Esme-Alice-Renesme_ vision of a reunion. Officially, it was a joint celebration of Esme and Carlisle's anniversary and mine and Jemima's three year wedding anniversary. I wasn't entirely certain which anniversary Esme and Carlisle were celebrating – they never disclosed if it was for their wedding or something else.

Anyway, we were all on a very small island and it seemed inevitable that Edward and I would be the first to be shoved off into a corner to _talk_. There would be other conversations, I was sure. If _The Trio_ had anything to do with it.

"I'd like that," Edward told me.

"All right. Then as I was saying, you broke my heart. Tore up my whole world and showed me a new one underneath that destroyed my happiness in one fell swoop."

"Ah."

I shrugged. "What do you want me to say? That I didn't really love her? She didn't love me like that anymore, but I still did. I really did." I looked out at the stunning moonlit expanse of water and took as much comfort from it as I could. "I loved her right up until the moment I found out about you. Loved her as much as the day I met her."

I could feel his hesitation to say something and it irked me. "What?" I asked after a few moments.

"But things…hadn't been great between you both towards the end, had they?"

It was a strange thing to say and almost certainly gave me the right to be pissed at him, but I wasn't. The whole point of this was to try to move on, air things that needed to be aired. "No, they weren't great. But our marriage was never smooth sailing. It was always rocky; good years and bad years. I was still in love with her."

"I didn't know that," he admitted softly. "It doesn't make anything better, but I didn't think you were still as in love with her as ever."

"Well, I was," I said. "And it hurt so much, to see her with someone else. But that wasn't the worst thing and I think you know that."

"Me," he said with a nod. "That it was me."

"Yeah. And not just that she was with you. More that _you_ had betrayed _me_. If she'd been with anyone else, you would have been the person I'd have turned to. I would have called you first. Come to you."

Very quietly, he said, "I know."

"I lost everything that day. All the best parts of my life." I laughed bitterly at that, shaking my head. "You two…were the best things in my life."

He'd put a hand over his eyes, leaning on the railing. "All the years we spent avoiding each other," he said in a shaky breath. "When I stayed for Bella and Nessie, we never talked properly and this was why. That was the thing I was dreading you saying the most."

I half turned to look at him, bracing myself because even after so many years, it still hurt. "I know you want me to forgive you. I want that too. But the thing is, Edward…I loved you too much. Your betrayal, maybe even above hers, is unforgiveable to me. It cuts too deep."

He managed a small, bitter smile and looked away, out to sea. His eyes shone a little too much. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"I know you are," I sighed. "And I don't enjoy making you feel like this, but this is the way it has to be. So for what it's worth, I'm sorry too."

"You've done nothing wrong," he said in a low voice. "I shouldn't even ask. I know what the answer is, but I just…" he trailed off and shook his head. "I miss you beyond what I thought capable."

Deciding to try and break some of the melancholia before it became overwhelming, I gave him a bracing slap on the back. It seemed to snap him out of his sadness and he gave me a questioning look. "Dude, I appreciate the sharing but it's starting to sound like you're about to confess some kind of monumental crush on me."

He grinned and shook his head. "Well, it's the accent Em. It does me in every time I hear it. Some people are just _too_ sexy." I appreciated that he got on board with my attempt at humour. There was only so much angst I could take.

"I knew I should have given you another minute," Jacob said from the doorway. "And was I not given honourable mention in the gay crush stakes? I didn't wear a shirt for the first five years of knowing you guys and I happen to _know_ I look good shirtless."

"Jake, you're shirtless right now," I pointed out.

He puffed out his chest. "And? I'm uncontrollably sexy, right?"

Edward and I exchanged glances and hidden grins. "Well," Edward drawled. "I actually prefer you when you're a little more…wolfy."

"Yeah, me too," I chimed in. "How about we see you transform and do a little twirl?"

"You guys suck," Jake frowned, letting the air out of his, admittedly impressive, chest. "Can I stay with you for a while, even though you suck?"

I nodded, making some room for him on the _Manly Railing of Pensive Leaning_. "Girls in overdrive?"

He shrugged. "Kinda. Lots of laughing at things I didn't really get. I pretended I did for a while and then I laughed too loud at something that apparently only required a titter."

"Yeah," I said sympathetically. "At least you didn't get shoved out here, though."

"Girls," Edward said with a roll of his eyes. "Have to fix the whole world."

Edward's comments were, of course, said with not one shred of authenticity. Neither were mine or Jake's, really. Our lives were wrapped up in those girls down there on the beach, laughing and talking animatedly.

After a few minutes of silence, Jake said, "We should organise a guy's holiday."

"Jake," Edward said with a friendly pat on the back. "We all think your chest is very sexy. You needn't try to ensnare us in some kind of gay love triangle."

"No! _No_. I'm being serious, we should go on a like…a world trip. Just the guys."

I snorted. "I can tell you're not trying to sound gay on purpose, but so far it's not coming off too well."

He ignored me, warming to his theme. "We could do all the cool stuff we don't get to do, because we usually have to watch sunsets, sunrises and twilights and every other time of the day. What is it with girls and the time of day? We could go bungee jumping! Parachuting! Have adventures!"

Edward and I leaned back ever so slightly to glance at one another again. We were thinking the same thing. "So, how's things between you and Ness?"

He sighed and dropped his head on the painted, wooden railing. "Really not discussing it with you, _Dad._ "

"Well firstly there's no way I'm going on a gay cruise with you if you keep calling me that," Edward pointed out. "Secondly, at best I'm your father in _law_. Thirdly, of everyone you're the only one who has actually aged even a fraction over the past years giving you the appearance of being older than me now. So maybe we can drop the _Dad_ thing and just be friends, huh?"

Smothering a grin, I asked with put on sympathy, "Is it the sex, Jake?" Edward groaned as though in pain. "Too much? Too often? Too kinky? She wants a threesome?"

"I take it back," Edward choked. "Think of me as Dad, please. Forever. A stern, prudish Dad."

"It's not the…y'know!" Jake yelped, blushing a fraction. "Nothing like that."

"Oh. Well then that's OK. Tell us your troubles," Edward said, giving him a little nudge. "Buddy."

I wanted to burst out laughing, but admirably refrained. "Yeah, tell us Jake. We have extensive knowledge of women. All three of them."

I felt quite proud of myself for making a little joke, however distantly related, to the great, all –consuming _It_ that was between us. Edward looked surprised, his eyes searching mine to see if it was OK to laugh.

' _It's OK,_ ' I told him in my mind. _'We have to make a joke of at least once, right?'_

His smile reminded me of when we were younger, before I'd gotten up the courage to tell Rosalie how I felt about her. I'd relied on Edward then, related every feeling I had for her as it was born, told him everything. He hadn't been expecting friendship between us, not in the beginning. I remembered every time I made effort to make him laugh, how off guard he looked, like he wasn't used to laughing. Like it wasn't what his face was meant to do. He looked the same way now; unexpectedly grateful, surprised and guiltily pleased.

"All right," Jake sighed, resting his chin on his forearms. "But don't let it get back to her, please."

"Sure," I reassured him. "What's wrong?"

"I don't think she feels the same way about me as she used to."

That hadn't been what I'd been expecting to hear, but Edward had obviously read him because he didn't react much at all. "How so?" I asked kindly.

"I can't really put my finger on it," he said reluctantly. "Things just don't feel the same as they used to."

"Like…not good anymore?"

"No, still good. Still great, really but…just different. Something's changed lately and I worry that whatever has changed will keep changing until everything is different."

"What's changed?" I enquired cautiously, not wanting to push him too much when he seemed genuinely vulnerable.

"It's only discernible over time. I keep thinking back to when we were first in love, first married. Things aren't the same."

I couldn't help but chuckle softly and saw Edward do something similar. "Jake," I said, surprised by his naiveté. "That's what happens, man. That's what _happens_."

"But, we're not like other people," he pointed out, straightening and emphasising his frustration. "Right? We're different, we live…well, forever! We don't change."

Edward shook his head solemnly. "You're wrong. We change all the time. Nothing of us ages or alters on the outside, but inside it's completely the opposite. If we didn't, we'd go mad. Relationships are the same. Either you grow and change together, in the same direction or…" he paused, hesitant to verbalise his final point. He swallowed and went on. "Or you grow quite apart. Either way, you grow. Trying to repress it will always end badly."

There was silence for a little while after that. Nothing much to be said, lots to be absorbed. I thought about the implication of his words; growing together or growing apart. I knew it was true. It was a universal truth for our kind. To change without ever seeming to change, to age and grow older than anyone on the planet while appearing little more than teenagers. Jasper had known it, could never reconcile the outward youth and the inner age. But Jacob was not one of us, so to speak. He did not know this truth as we all did; bone deep and ever present. He was young, still. Young like Bella and Nessie. Young enough that they did not fully know, but were coming to suspect, how difficult the endurance of time and all its laws really was. How much work was needed to adapt and grow inside a body that was diamond hard and just as un-yielding.

It was while pondering such things that I became aware of another approaching; Roman. We turned away from the picturesque view to greet him. I liked him, having only met him a few times but still…he was inherently likeable and friendly. Though he was not perhaps family to me yet, he certainly was to others. Rosalie and Edward adored him and considered him a brother. They had never said as much, but it was evident. I knew them both too well. Knew the looks, the smiles and the familiarity. With Rosalie, especially. No matter how much time had passed, I would always know her well whether I wanted to or not.

Roman was dressed oddly, considering we were on a tropical island but then that wasn't unusual. He wore a blue turtleneck sweater and burgundy corduroy trousers. Still, he had an air about him; the kind of untouchable confidence people have when they're a little crazy.

"Ah, there you are!" he announced cheerfully. "I thought maybe you'd all gone swimming but just as I was about to dive in, I realised you were up here. Why _are_ you up here?"

He came over and Edward made space for him on our railing. He seemed genuinely pleased to see Roman. To Edward, he was immediate family. He lived nearby them, always; from what I gathered from Ness, sometimes he lived _with_ them. He and Rosalie were best friends. It was equally difficult not to automatically compare him to Jasper, but I made the attempt anyway.

"We're planning a cruise," Jacob told him. "Just the guys!"

"A gay cruise," I filled in sagely.

" _Not_ a gay cruise!"

"Where to?" Roman asked curiously. "Like a round the world kind of cruise? That should be long enough to turn you all gay. Then I can have my pick."

Edward gasped with mock indignation. "Roman! You shatter my un-beating heart! I thought what we had was real!"

"Maybe if you took your shirt off more," Jake added helpfully.

"No need," Edward replied airily. "I've got the secret weapon _right here_."

He pulled out his phone and dialled, while we all waited bemused. Roman's phone rang and he answered it hesitantly.

"Hello?"

Edward put on his most husky, semi-British accent and said, "Well hello, Roman, its Mr Sexy Voice here."

Jake and I burst in to uproarious laughter while Roman simply cringed and smacked Edward on the shoulder. "One time I thought that, _one time!_ It is hardly my fault if you sound like that! How was I to know?"

"Ah, so this is where all the men are," Carlisle said as he approached the balcony. Jake was still in fits of laughter, but I sobered up enough to speak.

"That's debatable right now," I informed him. "But come on out. Edward was just trying to win Roman's undying love."

"And we're going on a cruise."

"A very gay cruise."

Carlisle smiled as he joined us in our ever growing line up. "How long have you been planning this? Because there are better ways to come out, you know."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "It is _not_ a gay cruise. It's a cruise with just us guys. Y'know. Doing guy stuff. Fishing. Swimming. Uh, wrestling?"

"Naked."

"In oil."

"With _Cherry Pie_ playing in the background."

"OK, that's it. I'm done planning the gay cru-I mean _the cruise!_ It's not happening now. You all happy?" Jacob sulked.

Once again, Edward and I exchanged glances. "Ah, don't be like that, Jake," I said. "We're only teasing. We're more than happy to go on a mostly straight cruise with you."

"Yeah," Edward agreed. "You can't blame us for having gay on the brain with you around, though. Sexy, shirtless chest and all. It's enough to turn anyone."

There was a beat of silence before Carlisle said, "I'm trying to figure out how this conversation started."

"Edward and I were the founders of this here Manly Rail of Pensive Leaning," I sighed. "Shoved unceremoniously out here by Esme. Then Jake came out to tell us of his woes with Ness. Then it all went very gay and that was _before_ Roman came out and Edward did his Mr Sexy Voice."

More silence. "I still don't really know how it went so gay, so fast."

"It's what happens when there's no women around. Inevitable, really," Edward said.

"Who do you think will be next?" Roman asked.

"To turn gay?" Jake spluttered.

"To come out here," Edward said with a playful sneer. "You pleb."

"There's only two left," I pointed out. "Gaspard and Simon."

"Ten to one it's Gaspard," Jacob guessed. "Simon's too intimidated by us."

"Wouldn't you be?" Edward asked softly.

Simon was Bella's boyfriend and the newest of the group, though not by much. Roman's partner Gaspard was introduced only a year before Simon. Bella had been with him for two years at that point but had wanted to keep him separate from the family. Her reasons for doing so were obvious when we finally met him. Simon was painfully shy.

"He might not come at all," Roman suggested.

"No, he will," Carlisle supplied. "It's pretty noticeable that all the men are gravitating here."

"Is there a notable absence of testosterone?" Jacob asked, peering over the railing and trying to spy on the beach group.

"More like an abundance of all things female. Although, from what I walked in on here, there didn't seem to be that much testosterone flying around."

Jacob, who obviously couldn't see anything of note, then asked, "Are they talking about us?"

"No," Edward answered, his eyes glazing over slightly, indicative of him using his telepathy to communicate with Rosalie. "They're not."

I couldn't help but wonder, not for the first time, how it was to be in each other's minds like that. To be so intimately a part of one another that just a simple glance inwards and you could see through their eyes, hear through their ears. Strange and unnerving to me, but to them it was simply who they were. Maybe who they had always been.

In hindsight, it was plainly obvious. Their similarities were glaring and yet, I'd never seen it until I had actually _seen it._ Sometimes we occasionally joked about it and even gently mocked, but it was true – they were the same soul in two bodies. Not even romantically speaking; it was more _who_ they were. Standing before me was Edward, but I could sense Rosalie all about him. Undeniable and, with the aforementioned benefit of hindsight, unmistakable.

I didn't envy them their connection nor the intensity of it. Though I knew it to be genuine, it felt somewhat…unnatural to me. I dismissed the thoughts quickly, hoping not to offend Edward too much. Such ruminations could only worsen the awkwardness.

"What are they saying then?"

"Jacob, seriously – you're married to Ness, right?"

"Yeah, well – it'd still be interesting to know what she says about me when I'm not there."

I saw just the smallest quirk of a smile at the corner of Edward's mouth before he said, "Ah wait, yes – they're talking about you now, Jake. Ness is saying….she wishes you'd wear shirts more often. And she thinks you're secretly gay."

"I hate you."

"'Oo is secretly gay?" Gaspard looked at us all in turn, smiling and seemingly perfectly at ease. When he settled at Roman's side, I noticed their hands brushed subtly. "I 'ave a theory that one of you 'as been gay all along, do I not, Ro?"

Roman nodded eagerly. "Oh yes."

"So which one of you is coming out, then?" Gaspard asked. He was dressed impeccably and was undeniably beautiful. In Girly Terms, he was as pretty as Edward, perhaps even more so. He had striking pale blonde hair, cropped to just above shoulder length and he carried himself with a careless grace, not to mention the French accent. If I was gay, I would probably consider him to be hot.

Damn this weekend. Damn it to hell.

"Jake," I said without missing a beat. "Jacob is gay. So very gay. He longs for nautical gay adventures and oil wrestling."

Poor Jacob looked like he'd given up defending his sexuality. "Yup. That's me," he sighed.

But Gaspard laughed. "Non, non, Cherie. You could not be gay. You would be terrible at it." Then he turned his eyes to me and said, "I always thought you were secretly gay, Emmett."

Jacob, Carlisle and Edward all snickered under their breath. "Excuse me?" I managed. " _Why_?"

He shrugged elegantly. "You are a perfect…uh, Ro? Comment dites-vous _l'ours_?"

Roman snorted and replied, "Bear."

Gaspard nodded sagely. "Ah yes. You are a perfect bear, Emmett."

"You're saying you not only thought I have the propensity to be gay, but that I'd be a bear?"

"Big and strong," Gaspard said with a wink.

"I feel like I've walked into a parallel universe," Carlisle said with a sigh. "Or a sitcom."

"So," Edward said in what I sensed was a strong attempt to change the conversational direction. "How are you enjoying the weekend?"

Carlisle smiled softly and looked down. "It's wonderful having everyone together. We…Esme especially, miss you all so much. We miss living together. Like a family."

I felt a pang of guilt, even though technically Jemima and I lived closest and visited the most. Jake and Nessie were living in America, which was only fair as they were new to the moving around the States thing. Alice moved all the time and only settled for short periods to stay with Bella. She would drop in individually on everyone, but never stayed longer than a week, unless with Bella. Bella lived in Northern Canada with, we all assumed, Simon, but there was no way of truly knowing as she'd never confirmed nor denied it. Carlisle and Esme were still in New Zealand, where Jemima and I lived, although at opposite ends more or less. Rosalie, Edward, Roman and Gaspard all lived in England and had done for the last year.

Esme hated it, but accepted it was what everyone wanted. It was difficult to bear her sadness, but there was a sense of necessity about the situation. For Rosalie and Edward, especially, I thought. Distance was their saving grace. Their chance for real happiness. Because despite the camaraderie and messing around, Edward was as uncomfortable with me as I was with him. We made effort, huge amounts of effort…but there was a wedge driven between us now and no matter what we did, it would never heal right.

"Well," Edward said considering. "I think the fact that your children turned bratty and selfish, hardly ever visiting actually makes us more like a _real_ family."

Everyone laughed. "Do you think Simon is feeling horribly left out?" Roman asked. "Someone should go get him and tell him to come."

"Then it'll make it even more obvious that he _didn't_ come of his own volition. Or he hates us all and doesn't want to be with us."

Edward's eyes glazed once more. "He's coming, I think. Yeah, he's coming now."

"Right," Jake said, readying himself. "Now for God's sake no-one make any more gay jokes!"

"Why?" I asked. "Simon's not gay."

"No, but I'm getting pretty sick of everyone thinking I secretly am! Let's forever dispense with the gay stuff."

Roman raised his hand. "Ah, I object. I don't want to dispense with the gay stuff. I for one enjoy the gay stuff. All aspects of it."

"Hey…guys."

"Hey Simon," we all echoed in embarrassing unison. The poor guy, he radiated shyness.

"Um, A-Alice sent me up here to tell you that…the little boy's club thing is sad. And th-that they're on to you."

I snorted dismissively. "On to us about what?"

Though Simon was undead, like most of us, he still seemed to blush somehow. "Th-the gay thing."

Jake swore violently and Carlisle patted him on the shoulder sympathetically.

"It's all a ruse," I told him. "She just said that to get you up here."

"They probably want to scheme. They're schemers, at heart, those girls," Edward said.

"Yeah," I said with a laugh I didn't really feel and couldn't help but think, ' _Rosalie especially.'_

Edward looked at me then and I saw such sadness in him that it physically hurt. There had been a time when I would have wanted to kill whoever made him look so sad. Now I was the cause of it.

It was gone in a flash, only Roman seemed to notice anything. He wore a small frown line as he watched Edward carefully, concerned. "So what's the itinerary for this weekend?" I asked, looking determinedly away.

Carlisle shrugged. "Family bonding, I guess. Esme probably has plans."

* * *

 **-Bella-**

"So," I asked. "What's the plan for the weekend?"

Esme, who sat opposite me in the loose circle we had formed on the beach, shrugged and smiled. "The boys think I have plans, but really I just wanted everyone together."

"That's actually a plan," Alice pointed out with a grin, beside me. "You always have a plan."

"Well, maybe a small one."

"I think it's great, us finally all getting together," Jemima put in. "Plus this island is beautiful."

"We'll play a baseball game at some point, of course," Alice said with confidence. "Then we'll swim, lounge, chat and hunt…oohh and _then_ -!"

"Ahem," Esme interrupted. "I think it'd be nice if some of it was a surprise, sweetie."

"Sure," Alice agreed easily. Alice never made waves, never objected or pushed for anything. Not since Jasper had died, at least.

Alice was my best friend, there was no doubt about that. Of everyone, I was the one she would stay with for months at a time. She had become so very important and dear to me, even more of a sister than she had been _before_.

The great, all-consuming _before._

Even now, so many years later it was a difficult thought to swallow, as with it came an overwhelming rush of memories and residual pain. I knew with certainty that I was the last one of us all, even Emmett, to still feel pain on such a level. More than fifty years had passed since that nightmarish revelation that had taken my entire world and turned it upside down. Really, it marked the death of my old life, so abrupt and absolute was the transformation.

The day before, I'd been happy; anticipating Edward's return, looking forward to seeing him again and suggesting we go away somewhere for a few weeks, just the two of us. I'd been looking at holidays online, when Alice had let out a strangled scream from the next room. Her vision of what was happening between them…she'd never told me everything and I had never been in any state to hear it, but the look on her face had given a lot away nonetheless.

Unlike everyone, I had never had any suspicion. Never looked at them askance, wondering at their dislike and coldness towards one another. I'd never once considered it because to me, it was impossible. Edward had been mine for so long. I loved him so completely and never once had I stopped to think that he loved me anything other than completely in return. The shock took months to even sink fully in, let alone begin to wane.

During those first few months, Edward and I foolishly tried to reunite. At first, I'd even believed it might work. Such was the depth of my disbelief and shock that I convinced myself we could move past it and come out stronger on the other side.

It became horribly apparent after two months just how impossible that was.

Edward had tried to reassure me that he hadn't meant what he'd said about Rosalie; that he loved me and Nessie and nothing compared to that. We tried dating again, attempting to start over. It was the origin of a fatal error because it revealed how little we actually had in common any more. Trying to make small talk as if we didn't know each other made it starkly plain. Aside from Nessie…there was almost nothing tying us together.

I started to despise him. Every day his forced affection and sweetness became more obvious for what it truly was. The manifestation of his guilt and little else. It made me start to feel deplorably stupid…how had I not seen this gaping chasm of nothingness between us? Because he'd been kind. Because he'd been pretending. Because he'd been making effort to keep me happy. It got to the point where just looking at him made me want to cry. His tentative smile telling me the truth he tried so hard to hide.

Despite minimal interference from everyone else, I still couldn't face admitting to the mistake I'd made in giving him a second chance. They had all begged me not to do it, Emmett especially. He'd held my hand so tightly, pleading with me not to do that to myself. To stay with the family and away from Edward. When I realised they'd been right, I didn't want to admit it.

It was me who called time, though. The moment I called him out on the mistake we had made, he who broke down, unable to contain his depression and despair any more. The smiles and sweetness failed him. He confessed that he couldn't do this anymore; that he was so sorry and he had tried but that he simply couldn't. The reason _why_ went unspoken, but I heard her name as though he'd said it anyway.

I'd been expecting to feel even worse, but after the initial shock of my admittance and a few days of being crushed, I felt mostly relieved. I wanted to be away from him, away from the living reminder of the distance and nothingness between us.

So, we split up for good and I let the real pain that I'd been postponing, sink in at last. In letting go I felt a kind of peace with him– an equilibrium that would, in the many years to come, allow us to become friends again, close friends even.

For decades, there were no bright spots in my life. There was stable grey and the occasional patch of black here and there, but little else. My life had been built around him in so many ways and without him…I struggled to find myself. Nessie was my lifeline and everyone else was so kind and helpful, but it wasn't enough to pull me out of the grey for many years.

Eventually, what everyone had been saying about, _'time healing all,'_ made sense. The hurt eased and I became interested in life once more. I wanted to know who I was at the core. I'd been Bella Swan for so little time before I was Bella Cullen, wife and mother. A mere nineteen years of human life before it was replaced by something else entirely. Now that too had fallen away and I was left with the bare bones of myself.

I grew, I changed…I defined myself.

And then some years back, I fell in love again. Only, I didn't realise I'd fallen in love because it was totally unexpected, but also completely different to my previous experience. Simon was Alice's friend, someone she'd met in Northern America. He'd been turned a mere five years before that and was a loner, unable to remain within any coven he'd met. Alice brought him with her when she came to stay with me and though I knew it was a set-up of sorts, I hadn't minded. The possibility of it working was so remote and impossible that I hadn't given it a second thought and had kept to myself.

But for the first time in my life, I realised that keeping to myself wasn't what I wanted to do. Simon was shy, even more reserved than I had been when I was human. It made me want to befriend him, help him perhaps. So I sought to draw him out a little. I spent time with him and as I did, he made me happy. It was hard work, but worth it. When Alice left and he stayed, it still didn't occur to me. I thought of him as my friend, my best friend even. We spent a huge amount of time together, though I never mentioned him to Nessie or anyone else. I lived alone then anyway, or at least I did before Simon pretty much moved in.

Even then, we had separate rooms and hardly ever touched so I remained clueless. It crept up on me slowly. The bond between us wasn't some crazy, passionate thing. It was absolute friendship, growing trust and the total pleasure of spending time with him.

Then one day, it occurred to me. I was looking at him while we were talking, sitting outside in the yard at six in the morning and I _knew_ that I loved him. More than that. I was _in_ love with him.

When I told him, that very moment, he smiled. He so rarely smiled and it took my breath away to see it. _"I know,"_ he'd said. " _I've known for a while."_

" _And you love me too_ ," I said, smiling a little myself. _"You're in love with me."_ It felt as though I was voicing aloud something I had indeed known for some time. There was a certainty there, a total lack of insecurity that to an outsider might have seemed like arrogance. It wasn't.

It was the quiet, non-descript acknowledgement of our love. A very unexpected, but genuine love.

I missed him now, though he wasn't that far away. Standing with the girls, such as they were, wasn't unpleasant but there was a degree of discomfort.

It came from Rosalie, of course. I would never be comfortable in her presence, no matter how much time had passed. She respected that, at least. Never pushed for more, never tried to build so called bridges like Emmett and Edward were doing. I was grateful for that.

This weekend together was a huge step and one that I wouldn't necessarily have taken without Alice insisting. Nessie was definitely involved too, trying to get everyone together and on board for future gatherings. It was worth it for how happy Esme was. To her, we were family and she would never see us as anything but. Even with what Rosalie and Edward had done, she still thought of them as her beloved children.

That had been hard to come to terms with decades ago, when all I'd wanted from everyone was complete sympathy for me and total hatred for the both of them. Though Esme never made it public, she certainly didn't hide the fact that she would always love Rosalie and Edward. It was hard to swallow and felt, to some extent, like a betrayal. I could see the truth behind it now and it was nothing to do with choosing others over me. She had simply known about it for a very long time, before I'd come into their lives even. She knew of their sins and accepted them, no matter what.

"I think it's cute that the boys have all grouped up, like they're defending themselves against our plans," Alice was saying and I realised I'd missed various parts of the conversation. "Like they've got a chance!"

"Do we have plans?" I asked. "Like, actual legitimate plans?"

"Well," Alice said with a tilt of her head. "Not really. But I like the fact that they think we do."

Esme said, "I shoved Edward and Emmett up there pretty quickly when we arrived. I feel that constitutes as a plan."

I couldn't resist looking at Rosalie then, just to see her reaction if there was one. Outwardly, she seemed placid and content; perfectly at ease in her surroundings. I'd often envied her of that in the past. The ability to remain unaffected by the usual insecurities and self-doubts, shielded by her confidence and beauty. Knowing what I did now, it was easier to see through it. I watched her throat contract fractionally, though her smile never faltered. It never did, really.

I thought back to her reappearance at Jasper's wake. I knew she would come, there was no way she would miss it, given a choice but still…seeing her had hurt. By that point, Edward and I had forged something of a genuine friendship. Nessie was our daughter after all, we would always be bound by her existence and our mutual love for her. So yes, we had become friends. I gave way to the familiarity and let it become friendship in place of the all-consuming love there had once been.

I had wanted her to see it; wanted her to see him standing by me. I'd wanted her to hurt just a fraction of how much she had hurt me. But it was wrong, I knew that. She'd arrived because her brother was dead. She looked like she was in in pain, agony really – but it didn't make me feel better. And the look on his face upon seeing her…I'd never seen him look like that.

To me, Rosalie would always be cold, sharp and unyielding. She would never be a good person as far as I was concerned. But to Edward, she was the reason the sun rose and set. She was his world and it was plain to see.

I accepted it, just like I accepted her presence and the fact that Edward had changed _his_ name to Hale, taking her surname and shrugging off the Cullen title, leaving it to me. I accepted the fact that they were talking to one another telepathically pretty much all the time. I accepted it all, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

And quite honestly, it was unsettling.

Still, it was best not to think about that. I found myself missing the boys suddenly, there were usually more barriers between Rosalie and myself in the form of Edward, Carlisle and even sometimes Emmett. She would primarily stay close to Edward when we met up like this and without him, it was awkward.

I sighed inwardly and wondered how long it would be before we scattered into even smaller groups. I wanted to be with Alice, I longed for her undiluted company.

"Anyway," Jemima said with a brisk smile. "When are we going swimming? Emmett said there are sharks!"

* * *

 _Everett, Washington._

 _2036_

 **-Emmett-**

" _Fuck them," I spat with genuine vitriol. "Fuck them both."_

 _Bella winced, unable to stop herself it seemed. "I really don't like it when you swear. It's much worse when it comes from you. But, yeah…I agree."_

" _No, really," I sighed. "We've been through enough, right?_ Fuck them _if they think they can do this to us anymore. I'm so sick of feeling like this! I'm sick of it on your behalf, especially now!"_

 _I sat on the floor beside her, shoulder to shoulder. This was where I'd found her; in the house she had been staying in with Edward, where they'd been misguidedly '_ Trying to Start Afresh' _. Until today, anyway. Today Bella had realised what I had been trying to tell her for a while now. That he didn't deserve a second chance and worse still…she was doing herself an indignity, trying to wallpaper over monumental cracks. I caught a glimpse of him as he was leaving, bag in hand as he got in the car and drove away._

 _To find_ her _. I knew that much without even having to be told. Who needed to be told that anyway? It felt inevitable to me._

" _I think I hate him," she said, sounding surprised. "I actually hate him now. I didn't before. It's new."_

" _Yeah, there's a lot of_ new _going around," I chimed in bitterly. "Welcome to the party."_

 _I could feel her looking at me and immediately regretted my choice of words. Bella was, if nothing else, the only person who knew even remotely how I felt. It was difficult, not lashing out. I'd never struggled with it until now. This situation had brought out the worst in me, things about myself I'd never embraced or known existed._

" _I should have listened to you," she went on quietly, making me feel even worse. "You told me not to let him back into my life and you were right. I'm so dumb."_

" _No, you're not. You're just…too nice."_

 _She nodded, mouth tightening. "There's a great word, huh? Nice. Bella's so nice. Nice, dull as dishwater, reliable Bella." There was a pause during which I could practically hear her choosing her phrasing. "You think he thought_ she _was nice? I bet he never once thought of her that way. Nice."_

 _It was a kneejerk reaction to reply that of all things she had been, Rosalie had never once been nice. I caught myself in time, not wanting Bella to feel worse._

" _Ok," I said instead, scooting closer. "How about kind? You're too kind. You're too loving and sweet, generous and decent. All the things that neither one of them could ever hope to be."_

 _Her head dropped against the tip of her knees and she let out a small sob. "And what good has it done me? Being a good person is bullshit if you have to feel like this."_

" _So, join me in my anger and ranting."_

 _She looked up and managed a watery smile. "Fuck them?"_

" _Fuck them," I said decisively. "Look, he's gone now and I really think it's the best thing that could have happened for you now. Him being here…it was like skin healing over a wound that's still infected. You don't need him, you've got us. Me. We're in this together, I'm-"_

 _I couldn't finish, because Bella leaned forward suddenly and kissed me. It was an awkward angle, her lips pressed to mine and when I immediately drew away, she moved to follow me._

" _Bella…" I said quietly, looking down. "No."_

" _Why not?" she asked, almost insistently. "You said fuck them, right? Don't you want to feel something different? Anything except_ this _?"_

" _Of course I do, but this isn't you and…it isn't me."_

 _She slumped back, radiating disappointment as her head hit the wall. "I suppose I'm too vulnerable? You'd be taking advantage, right?" she said bitterly._

" _Honestly?" I sighed. "You're my sister, Bella. You're family. That's really all there is to it." My words felt hollow, meaningless. Her kiss had blindsided me. "And anyway, we're better than them. We don't have to stoop to their…level."_

 _Bella glanced sideways. "I wasn't. I just wanted to feel better."_

 _I gave her a nudge. "Yeah, I know. I do too. But this isn't the way."_

 _After a long pause she asked, "What is the way?"_

" _I have no idea. God, I wish I could get drunk." Anything to numb the pain; the constant, biting agony that was their betrayal. Rosalie had tried describing to me what it felt like to drink alcohol a few times, seeing as I never had._

 _Why,_ why _did I have to think her name? Treacherous, two faced, lying bitch that had been my wife and the person I loved most. Just her name was like a physical blow, making me close my eyes against the pain of it._

" _Would you ever forgive them?" Bella asked in a hollow voice some minutes later._

" _What?"_

" _Would you?"_

" _I don't understand."_

" _Like if Rosalie came back, begged you to forgive her," Bella said staring ahead. "Would you forgive her?"_

 _It was a question I'd asked myself over and over in the quieter moments of this new life. I imagined it, even fantasised about it. Rosalie coming back, on her knees begging me to forgive her, telling me she still loved me more than anything in the universe, more than_ him _. But the fantasy was always short lived; one particular memory of seeing them together in that ruined apartment was sufficient to destroy any daydream of forgiveness or mercy._

" _No," I said bluntly. "Never."_

" _Why not?" she asked, speculatively._

 _I smiled wryly. "Because I loved them too much."_

 _Bella nodded. "It's harder for you, I suppose. You loved them both."_

 _I didn't say anything, but some part of me privately agreed. It was the part of myself that I didn't particularly like; a new, cold and harsh voice brought about by recent events. Not only had I loved them both, but I had loved them for longer._

" _That's bullshit," I lied with flair; another new talent. "If anything, it's got to be way harder for you. You've got Nessie."_

 _Nessie, who still wanted to see her father. Who sometimes very quietly asked Esme if she had heard from Rosalie. Who still loved her father and would miss him now he had gone to pursue_ her _._

" _Do you know how it happened, when he left this morning?"_

" _No."_

 _She shook her head, mouth twisted. "I told him this was a mistake. He started crying. I've never seen him cry like that. He was bent double with it, sobbing on the floor and I…I was_ concerned _for him. It was instinct. He told me couldn't do this another day. He said he was sorry and that he just couldn't pretend anymore."_

 _The last she exhaled forcefully as though the words wouldn't come without it. I felt familiar fury, imagining his confession as he sobbed and cried. I had known all along that his insistence about loving Bella and_ only _Bella was complete crap. Christ, how many times had I begged her not to listen to a word of it? Despite knowing it, I still hated him for hurting Bella even more and especially for running off to pursue the other one, counterpart to his supposed soul that she was._

" _I can't believe it, Bella," I lied again because I would well believe it. "I'm so sorry."_

" _I wanted to die," Bella told me in an almost conversational tone, breaking the quiet once more. "I still do."_

" _No you don't," I replied automatically._

" _The idea of immortality has never been so daunting until now. How can I live forever feeling this?"_

" _We won't feel like this forever," I promised her with much more confidence than I really felt._

" _You don't know that," she said softly._

 _I thought, albeit grudgingly, of something Jasper sometimes said. "Time devours all," I quoted. "And we have nothing if not time." That too was something I had heard both Rosalie and Jasper say, but it was almost impossible to untangle centuries of familiarities and little sayings. So many years of bleeding into one another, it was hard to un-bleed._

" _I can't stand the next five minutes, let alone the next five decades."_

" _We can and we have to. We owe it to ourselves."_

 _She looked at me and smiled sadly. "So, fuck them?"_

" _Fuck them," I confirmed, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. "But just so you know, I really don't like it when you swear."_

* * *

 **2088**

 _Rio de Janeiro, Isle Esme_

 **Rosalie**

I had always been drawn to the ocean; to its rhythm and endlessness. To the impartiality of it and the sense of constancy. Capable of danger and beauty, hiding so much of what lived beneath it. As I watched the moonlight dance over the distantly crashing waves, I felt calm and centred, beyond what I had expected to feel during such a time.

Quietly, though not unnoticed, I had snuck away from the gathering and come to the water's edge. No-one said anything, which I appreciated. Sometimes it was difficult, was all. Nothing, I knew, in comparison to how difficult it was for others. Bella's presence in particular would always be problematic to a certain extent. Though we made an effort for the others, Esme especially, there was nothing but hollow civility between us. I was grateful for anything and expected nothing from her, so even that was astounding. Still, it was tough being near her.

I sighed, taking in the vast expanse of water stretching ceaselessly into darkness and waited. He would come to me, he always did.

"Always will," he said softly, coming up behind me to encircle me in his arms, his chin resting on my shoulder. "You're doing so well," he told me, dropping a kiss at the base of my neck.

I turned a little and nuzzled his face in greeting. "I'm not _doing_ anything."

"Which is why you're doing well." I laughed and turned my face in to his a little, revelling in his touch and the comfort it gave. I knew what he was going to ask next. "Have you thought about it anymore?"

I nodded. "I have and so have you."

"Should we tell them?"

"I don't know," I admitted, closing my eyes. "It's difficult. Roman said it was up to us if we wanted to tell them while we were all together."

"They'll find out sooner or later. Does it matter if we don't tell them yet?"

"Carlisle and Esme might be a little offended."

He dropped a kiss on my shoulder. "I was going to tell Carlisle, no matter what. And so were you."

"You mean we shouldn't tell the others."

"I _mean_ let's not announce it thus avoiding potential uproar. At least for now."

"The very fact that we feel we _shouldn't_ tell them is a pretty good indicator that we _should_."

He grinned, holding me tighter. "What with our bent moral compass, and all that?"

"We don't have the best track record with secrets."

"It's not a secret, though."

I sighed, shifting so that I could sink down to sit on the sand; Edward followed me, wrapping himself around me as I leant back into him.

"I don't know what I want to do yet. That's why I don't want to tell them. They'll ask what we're going to do and I don't know."

"When we know, we'll tell them. For now, we don't know. I'm genuinely uncertain and it's such a massive, all consuming change. Not to mention we don't know if there are any side effects." Edward's arms tightened around me. "I know there are upsides, though. Aside from the obvious one."

"We should tell them," I said decisively. "Though the thought of even discussing it in length is painful, we owe them that much."

"You're right," replied my beautiful husband. "We don't need to have made the decision, only inform them of the choice itself."

"If it even works," I added. "Roman is a genius, no doubt but this…it's huge."

I felt him seek a different subject for the time being and I welcomed it. "Do you feel connected to them, here?"

"I feel the echo of connection. I feel the lure of it, to reignite once more."

"But no real connection?"

I tilted my head, considering. "I do, to some extent. With Carlisle and Esme, I'll always retain the association of parents. I know that if we stayed longer, moved nearer to them and visited more it would strengthen again. With the others…it's different."

He nodded, understanding. "You realise that we're keeping it that way, perhaps subconsciously?"

I leant back into him and looked up at the stars, so bright and clear in the clean sky. "We destroyed our family. We deserve no such connection. We don't deserve to even be here."

Edward rested his mouth against my neck, stereotypically vampiric to an onlooker. "I'll take your word for it, love. You always were the moral compass."

"Liar."

"Mmm, you're right. I suppose we always were lost at sea in that area," he said, gently biting me just enough to send delicate shocks of heat and anticipation through me. "How long do we pay penance? How long is enough?"

I laughed. "There's no amount of time. Our actions were final, you know it as well as I do. The reason we feel no connection to Emmett and the others is because there _is_ no connection. We had one once and we broke it. Isn't that what Emmett was saying to you earlier?"

His mouth vanished from my skin; he turned me to face him. "Then should we even be here?"

"Probably not, no. But family isn't so simple."

' _Are they our family? Still? Really?'_ his thought echoed in my mind, too afraid to even ask the question out-loud.

' _They were once. They were so much to us both. They kept us sane, kept us alive. Taught us all the good that we know. We owe them whatever they ask. They asked us to come, so here we are.'_

Edward's thoughts shifted towards Carlisle. Both of us would always and forever be connected to Carlisle; our maker, father and guide through our immortality and all else.

As it was a favourite of mine, I followed him into the memory.

* * *

 **1919**

 **Lednica Castle, Slovakia**

 **-Edward-**

 _It had been four months now since I'd seen a single human being. The White Carpathian Mountains provided the isolation I required from the rest of the world. Carlisle knew it well; the landscape, the forests and the castle especially. At first it had been frightening, dark and vast but through Carlisle's endless stories and knowledge of the history, I had come to know it well. It was almost totally inaccessible to humans, perched high on a mountain top like an eagle's nest. There was no ceiling and when it rained, it flooded for a few minutes while the water sought to escape through the cracks in the stone. I enjoyed the rain and anticipated the strange flooding that brought water up around my ankles, lukewarm to my icy skin._

 _It had been eight months since I had been human. My old, young life ended abruptly to be replaced with strange, brutal immortality softened only by the guidance and care of Carlisle Cullen, my saviour from death. While I had grieved for my mother, Carlisle was patient and an endless source of comfort. My many questions were answered to the fullest extent. He cared greatly for me, it was evident in everything he did. Questions gave way to conversations, occasionally lasting for days on end. There was nothing else to do sometimes, save to wait for the rain…for hunger to overthrow reason._

 _He asked about my life. About my mother and my father. At first, I had been hesitant to speak of my father in anything but reverent tones. Of my mother, I had nothing but good to say and it flowed naturally but my father and I had always been distant, resentful even. There were memories of him hurting her that always maintained that distance and resentment. His hand striking her soft, made-to-smile face. The rage in his eyes that I couldn't fathom the origin of._

 _After a month, I cleared my throat and told him of that particular memory. I stared at the floor the whole time, not wanting to see the pity in his eyes nor he to see the fragile hope in mine. Hope that in him, I might find a father who could give what my own had withheld. Once I had finished, I waited for him to speak. To weigh in on one of the worst memories of my life. But he didn't. When I finally looked up at him, feeling terribly young, I saw his expression was kind and neutral. Waiting for more, waiting to listen._

 _Now it was eight months into our controlled isolation in that castle that I had come to love and I knew we were leaving soon. There was a world out there, or so Carlisle told me, and we ought to see it._

 _I wished it would rain for our last night there, but there was no trace of it in the air. We were both sitting, backs against the ancient walls in contemplative silence while Carlisle turned the pages of a book; as ever, he remained a source of tranquillity and certainty to me._

" _Edward," he said, still staring at his book. "There's something we need to talk about."_

 _Swallowing deeply, I nodded. "Yes, we do. I know, I'm sorry."_

 _Carlisle closed the book and looked up at me. Twenty three he'd been when mortality had ceased to age him but he held the age in his eyes; they alone told the story his face could not. "You can read my mind."_

 _I dropped my head in shame. I should have told him immediately, the moment I convinced myself I wasn't insane and the voices in my head weren't my own. Since then, I'd kept the knowledge to myself, although I wasn't certain why. "Not only yours. Everyone. I can read the minds of everyone."_

" _Limited to humans only? I mean to say, it doesn't extent to animals?"_

" _No animals," I confirmed. "But everyone else's, yes."_

" _Why didn't you tell me?" There was no accusation, only mid curiosity. When I didn't answer, he guessed. "You thought I would balk at the loss of privacy and leave you?" I nodded, staring at the ground again, shamed by my childish concerns. He moved closer, coming to put his arm around my in a gesture I'd never experienced from a man before. He was embracing me; no one but my mother had ever done that before. "Edward," he said plainly. "I would_ never _leave you."_

 _He was telling the truth, his mind confirmed it and I was surprised by how much it meant to me. A latent expression of grief and gratitude combined, but it failed to rise up and so I simply leant into him for a moment before it became appropriate to move away._

" _I've been alone for a long time," he told me. "I have no desire to continue my existence in such a manner. And you…you are an exceptional being, Edward. I feel fortunate to have met you, even more so to remain in your company on this strange journey together. You have nothing to fear from me. Ask me what you will; talk and I shall listen."_

 _There were so many questions I wanted to ask. Burning questions, millions of them. I'd always felt like I needed to know everything, as much as possible. I had never had someone to ask, not in such a capacity._

" _I hope you have a lot of patience," I warned him with a soft laugh. "Because I have questions about everything."_

" _I look forward to them all," Carlisle replied. "Especially those that come when you first fall in love."_

 _The concept was so distant and abstract to me that I laughed. Love? Romance? What did any of that have to do with this brutal, violent existence rooted in darkness and death?_

 _We said no more then, returning to our quiet enjoyment of each other's company. I waited for rain that never came and when the sun rose, we left that place forever._

* * *

 **-Edward-**

The temporary solace offered by the water came to an end as I sensed the approach of another, but it was a welcome approach nonetheless. Roman sought out Rosalie in the same manner, though with different motives, as Jasper had used to. Their connection was a more than welcome relief for the moments, days and even months when Rose struggled and ultimately failed to cope without her brother.

He sat down beside me, removing his shoes and burying his feet in the cool, dry sand. "You still haven't told them."

"No," Rose said, slightly untangling herself from our embrace. "We remain in somewhat of a quandary. What would you do? Tell them?"

"It's not my place in the slightest," he replied. I couldn't help but smile at his contradiction; not his place to tell them, but it _was_ his place to come and sit beside us during an obviously intimate moment. Roman had few social boundaries and rarely recognised when he was infringing upon one of them. Rosalie never cared and therefore neither did I, save for that one, rather embarrassing time when he'd let himself in using the back door key.

Rose swallowed a giggle at the shared memory. "I think we'll tell them. It's too big for us to contain for selfish reasons."

"They won't tell anyone else if we request it," I added with confidence. "Until you're certain of the stability of the compound and any after effects, it would be nothing short of reckless to tell anyone, especially the Volturi."

Roman hesitated for a moment before asking, "There is no way of knowing with much certainty about long term effects. While I am convinced of the stability in the short term, I can say little as to the potential…downsides in years to come. There is no way of testing it without _actually testing it_."

Rosalie and I shared a brief glance. I knew how much she wanted this. The downside, as always, lay with the others. What they would think, how it would affect the tentative truce and small steps towards rebuilding trust.

"We should tell them tonight," she said softly. "They deserve to know."

I disagreed in part, but said nothing of it.

"I could tell them," Roman offered sincerely. "It's my discovery after all, it would hardly appear suspicious for me to announce it and that removes you from the equation."

If only it were that easy. The moment he told them, all eyes would swivel to us.

"It's your choice, of course," Rosalie said. "However, I'm more than fine with telling them myself."

"As you prefer," he said. "Well, are you going in the sea?"

The moment he suggested it, I felt Rosalie's entire demeanour brighten. She was always drawn to the water, my Rose. "Of course," she said smiling. "Edward?"

The request was a vocal courtesy for Roman's sake. She knew wherever she went, I was helpless to follow. Especially if it was in water. With less clothes.

"So long as Roman doesn't faint from seeing my astonishingly impressive, oh so manly chest."

"It's not that impressive," Roman quipped, stripping off to his boxers without a thought. "I personally prefer Emmett's, or even Jake's."

I made an indignant sound, only half joking. "Hey, you! Don't _make_ me do the voice!"

Rosalie was already in the water, barely paying attention to our banter. I watched her swim out a good sixty yards, her ripples making the water dance in the moonlight before she went under.

There were so many gifts that came with being what we were. Swimming for hours without needing to surface was only one of many that _almost_ outweighed the double edged sword of immortality.

Roman's discovery of how to reverse that immortality had changed our perspective forever.

The ability to age, change…have children. Rosalie's dream.

And although the downsides were endless and somewhat unseen, not least of all _dying_ one day, I knew what she wanted, what she had always wanted.

The problem, once again, was that my beautiful Rosalie did not think she deserved it.

* * *

 _A/N – This is part one of a two part thing I LITERALLY SWORE NEVER TO DO AGAIN! I love these characters too much. TOO MUCH! Anyway, I started writing this WELL over a year ago and then I got pregnant with what is now the love of my life, my gorgeous baby boy who is ten months old! I am so incredibly beyond happy and of course, that meant no time for writing! I am so sorry to keep everyone who requested this waiting for all eternity._

 _However, I managed to get an hour to myself tonight and so have got this up. Yay!_

 _So, there will be a final concluding part of this story (I mean it this time) but I can't say for certain when. Hopefully in the next few weeks. I've already started it so that's a good sign, right?_

 _Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this little piece. This was a big decision for me to even broach the subject of making their immortality POTENTIALLY reversible and it'll be discussed and examined from all aspects in the upcoming chapter so I hope no-one thinks I'm shoving a sugary sweet happily ever after on my King and Queen of Angst. However, I do think this would be the natural progression of their story and science would eventually get to the point of making this discovery._

 _I'd love to hear from you and know if you enjoyed it, as ever._

 _All my love, Bex._

 _X x x_

 _P.S -unbeta'd and therefore potentially riddled with mistakes. If I don't post it now something might happen and I'll forget and it'll be doooooomed!_

 _xxx_


End file.
